1 month ago
Parents of the civilised world smile and nod their heads in a unanimous vote on letting schools teach their unborn babies about sex. According to officals, starting the discussion early is important as it avoids the embarrassment and confusion children face with the internet and media of our time.
The Family Planning Association has already begun handing out pamphlets to concerned parents with a DVD on how to insert the reading material into the vagina.
The pamphlet also includes puzzles teaching the baby how to turn off SafeSearch in Google Images and disable region restrictions on certain DVD players to allow pirated content to play. This unprecidented move has angered many people of the community.
The Family Planning Association has already begun handing out pamphlets to concerned parents with a DVD on how to insert the reading material into the vagina.
The pamphlet also includes puzzles teaching the baby how to turn off SafeSearch in Google Images and disable region restrictions on certain DVD players to allow pirated content to play. This unprecidented move has angered many people of the community.
"It's unethical. I don't want to mix teaching my innocent children about penises and vaginas, with teaching them about computer piracy. It's disgusting, and it funds terrorism!" concerned father Water Damken says. The organisation behind the pamphlet is yet to comment about this.
Family campaigner Mrs Wather Faque had this to say--"The internet has more and more pictures of women's breasts and vaginas. General viewing television even has subtle references to blow jobs and cunninglingus, just watch the music videos of our time. Anime lolicons depict difficult subjects of incest and pedophillia. Toddlers will get confused when they see this, and I'm not alone in saying we have to put a stop to this. That is why we started this campaign. To stop this confusion and avoid akwardness, and of course teenage pregnancies. Our collegues at the Drugs Education Association are tackling issues of kids wanting to 'get high' who want to 'see what it is' by promoting movies with drug references and video games like Fallout 3." The DEA had also tried to start a campaign to allow unborn babies to consume canibas, however when it was found that the substance would actually destroy the mother's uterous the idea was scrapped.
Sylverin Says...
Dear readers, this saddens me: ISP filtering gains momentum.
We stand on the brink of weblivion.
Our precious web content is that little bit closer to becoming just a memory. I understand why the government is doing this though. Pedophiles. Terrorists. Credit card fraudsters and scammers. The small minority who ruin the internet for the rest of us. They have brought it down upon our heads.
Are you, dear reader, going to stand for this? This act of restriction? For that is what it is, a decision by the people in power to control and limit what we see, hear and think.
This is not quite the Matrix, nor V for Vendetta, nor Communism, but you get the picture. Restricting our view is one step towards a totalitarian state.
I am also concerned that the government will foist the cost of this content filtering onto the taxpayer. I steadfastly refuse to pay for a service I will never need to use. It's preposterous to think that Australians should pay for something that firstly, should already be self regulated, and secondly, is not guaranteed to prevent 100% of the illegal material getting through.
I consider this to be two, actually three things: an invasion of my right to freedom of information, an invasion of my right to choose whether I want to be filtered and an invasion of my right to privacy. I use the internet responsibly, so I do not see why I should suffer the minority's punishment.
And where does it end? I mean, where will the government draw the line for content filtering? This is exactly like the Wikipedia scandal where it was found that government agencies were illegally editing the site with the specific aim of biasing the information. Today, the government may be filtering child porn, but tomorrow? Who knows. But there will be trouble if I wake up one morning to find my favourite web comics blocked.
Sylverin
P.S. If you don't want to see the nastys - close your web browser!
Wow! Look!
An absolutely awesome laptop package just popped up on eBay!
Gee, I bet the person who bought that would be very very happy with it!
alacarte
P.S: Nigerian scammers are morons.
Any opinions or such expressed are strictly those of the author, and do not in any way represent the opinions of the kbabslive team. Except alphaomega.
An absolutely awesome laptop package just popped up on eBay!
Gee, I bet the person who bought that would be very very happy with it!
alacarte
P.S: Nigerian scammers are morons.
Any opinions or such expressed are strictly those of the author, and do not in any way represent the opinions of the kbabslive team. Except alphaomega.